Bad behaviour

[Miss Halo]

My 3 and a half year old must have hit the terrible twos late - he is turning into a little demon.

He has been potty trained in the day since last January and we were getting more dry beds at night than not. This has dramatically changed in the past month. It's a novelty if he has a dry bed and a miracle if I don't have to change his pants and trousers at least once a day. Now accidents I don't mind, but on purpose? Peeing and pooing on the carpet??

I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of - never minds, reasoning, asking, shouting, smacking, ignoring, punishments (no TV, fave toys, sweets) and rewards. Nothing is working.

I'm also having to deal with the tantrums - I don't want to's, go away I don't want you's, I don't love you's, door slamming, stomping feet - and yes, he really is 3, not 13. Mick managed to witness my failing attempts at motherhood this afternoon as I had to pick him up and carry him out of the local shop as he wouldn't stop opening the ice cream drawer, picking up sweets and messing with the queue tape. His comment of 'I'll tell Simon' made me smile though!! (and apologies cos I think I called you Mike!! - see what this is doing to me lol)

Any ideas, advice ....HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLP!!!

[vincentfan]

I cannot comment as I ufortunately have not been able to have any children....But...Is your errent one feeling a little put out of joint

Eg - Any other children ... Is he feeling a little jealous at a young age
Has he got an older sibling who Daddy spends alot of time with  and so resents you as you are around most of the day
... He may be jealous

Just a thought... Im no expert

[cherokee]

Don't you think he might be jelaous of his sister having most of your attention? I am not saying it is the case, I think he sees it this way.Try to organize a "special day out" for him or something like that, see if it helps.

[adrians]

I'm no expert either (ha ha, where are they all?) - but I look forwrad to finding out what works.

How is he with other kids? Does he play ok with them?

Ade

[Miss Halo]

He has a younger sister. At the moment there are only the 2 of them. My daughter has just started pulling herself up on things and is very mobile. I think it is jealousy, but more because instead of having our full attention, it now has to be shared.

Si is very good at equally dividing his attention and always says hello to him before her on his entry from work. He is also the one that puts him to bed as that is a little extra time for them to spend together. I think it is more me, as he always seems to play up for me - whether or not that is because I have them all day and feel it more, I don't know.

As she will play on her own, I make that time to see if he wants to read a book with me or for me to join in and play with whatever he is doing at the time, or even just to sit on the sofa and cuddle. The problem then becomes when I have to move and he doesn't want me to - and not necessarily because of his sister.

Yesterday for example, he went all day being good, the babbed his pants at 6:30pm, half hour before I had to go to work and no, he didn't realise I was working at that time. I am at a loss and it is more frustrating simply because I know he can do all the potty/toilet thing.

[cherokee]

Yesterday for example, he went all day being good, the babbed his pants at 6:30pm, half hour before I had to go to work and no, he didn't realise I was working at that time. I am at a loss and it is more frustrating simply because I know he can do all the potty/toilet thing.

Try this way - tell him, he is now the "big brother", so he must teach her lots of things, for example how to use a potty. Try to show him, that he is and will be a very important person for his little sister, by playing with both of them together with him showing her new things - drawing, playing with bricks etc. And do not worry, that he treats you different from his father - fathers are always there to play and mess about, kids do not see them washing up or cooking and watching them at the same time:)

[Kajman]

Halo,
our eldest did exactly the same thing.
You'll see what we mean on Friday!! LOL!

KM

[Miss Halo]

We have made sure we re-inforce the big brother thing, but at the moment, he does things simply because she can't fight back. I saw him this morning tormenting her. She was trying to crawl around and all he was doing was putting his hand on her forehead so she couldn't move forward. I must admit I did have a quiet little laugh  :twisted:

[Kajman]

Good lad, he seems to be getting on with it grand :-)

[Miss Halo]

He got the yellow bike by the skin of his teeth. 5 monkey stickers needed and 5 he got. I replaced the space on the cabinet with a trail bike complete with rider and motorbike noises when you press something. He now has to get 6 monkey stickers to get it and we count them up on a Sunday. Last week he didn't get it as he was only dry 2 /7 days. He won't get it this week either as he has only 1 sticker so far.

It's up and down. I went back to stopping him having a drink after 6/6:15pm last night (nearly lost the will to live after he pped the bed THREE times the night before) and for the first time in a while, he had a dry bed this morning!

[sanil]

yeah that's really bad. i dont have any solution.

[Miss Halo]

Been quite a long time since I first posted this topic.

After everything, I had a word with his Nursery teachers (he was peeing at school too) who said the best thing to do was to clean him up, change him and not say a single word to him and just carry on as if he had done nothing wrong at all. I did just that. Took just under a week, but he must have finally figured out that he wasn't getting any extra attentioon of any sort for doing it and went back to being dry!

Should have just put myself in the kids mentality area and I would have figured it out by myself   . At least when our daughter gets to that age, we will know!!!!!